Unblocking The Most Beautiful Heart

It was 25^th 2010 July, first day of my engineering college. I was very sincere, so I was there to attend the class there were three boys and two girls, others were absent because it was first day and some people take the first day lightly. It was Reena ma’am‘s class but before teaching there was an introduction session. Though I was not good at English but I managed to introduce myself and told her about myself. After sometime it was turn of a girl. Her name was Jasmine, she was very busy in reading some books I thought she did not mind what’s going on. Ma’am said, “Jasmine… tell me about yourself.” She hastily stood up; she was very chubby, cute girl with pink cheeks. She introduced herself; i was very closely observing her and her beauty. Some of her hair locks were disturbing her vision by playing with her spectacles. For me it was like love at first sight. Her pink lips were like petals of rose. Her eyes were big like it was hiding a deep mysterious ocean in which i could dive for eternity. Her curly hair which could easily trap any guys heart were falling in front of her spectacles no matter how hard she tried to put them behind but stubborn hairs had a different mood that day.  Oh my heart wasn’t there anymore inside my chest…I could hear it beating somewhere else. Forty minutes of class ended like it was a short break of five to ten minutes. I was eager to talk with her but did not have courage to do so due to my shy and reserve nature. I was thinking how a guy from small town of Lucknow who hardly speak English can make a conversation with a English medium girl who speak English so fluently.

First year went by in being a book worm and dreaming about her and making plans to have a conversation with her. The plans were all futile. But I did not leave any chance to be near her. She might not have seen me all those days like I didn’t existed, but for me she was the only one who was there like my eyes were made to see her and enjoy her beauty.

Now it was enough a year passed away and I couldn’t even talk to her forget about saying her what feelings has been there In my heart burning me like fire burns a whole forest. Birds of my heart who wanted to fly around her were all locked in a cage. Thanks to Mark Zuckerberg I found her on facebook and I sent her friend request and fortunately she accepted it after ten days. Ten days I wonder why it took so long. Finally conversation took place via chat.

I: “hey girl.”

Jasmine: “Hello”

Jasmine: “who are you? “

I: “I am Alok.”

Jasmine: “Alok….do I know you? Are you the one from the class?”

I: “ya ya. See you know me and I think you have crush on me.”

I: “I like you too.”

Jasmine: “what the hell..Are you mad? I don’t know you. Who the hell are you?”

I: “Talk of heaven not hell. There is so much love in the world why wasting your precious time in thinking of hell.”

Jasmine: “You moron that’s a figure of speech get lost Loser!”

My heart was shattered, I did not reply after being insulted like that. Though I continued to stalk her. Next day I tried to avoid her and didn’t even want to see her. I saw her in the class room but did not talk to her, neither she confronted me or even noticed me as usual.

Next day I was in canteen along with my friend, waiting for my banana shake that I ordered. Jasmine with her group of boys and girls entered, I saw her but pretended as I did not notice her. She ordered burger and chose to sit in front of my table facing me. Now I got very nervous, unable to decide what to do, I started to use my phone showing that I am busy I tried to look away like I don’t know she is there. She was wearing a simple red gown. She was looking very beautiful. She was having a good time with her group. I forgot the insult and melted like butter melts on hot pan. One glimpse was enough to reignite the fire which was cold from some days. I looked at her burger and I wished I was it, I could have achieved nirvana after being eaten by her. I thought ah its burger that’s the reason for her chubbiness. But like the way she is. I drank my banana shake and left canteen as fast as could. That night I logged in my FB account and she was online and was surprised when her messaged popped up.

Jasmine: “.”

I: “..”

Jasmine: “…”

I: “What???”

Jasmine: “Hello Mr. Banana shake.”

I: “Hello Miss Burger!”

I: “Banana shake! So you noticed me!”

I: “ah or it was that there weren’t many people out there.”

I: “whatever Miss burger…you finally fell for banana shake. Wow what a lovely combination!”

Jasmine: “That means you noticed me in canteen, why didn’t you come to me to talk with me?”

I frankly told her the reason. That I am too shy to talk with her face to face In front of her friends who are very talented in so many things. I was afraid someone might belittle me.

I: “you talked to me very rudely that night so I was avoiding you.”

Jasmine: “Then why are you talking now?”

I: “I respect girls and it was you who started chat, not I.”

I could not tell her that she was looking very beautiful when I saw her in canteen. I did not dare to talk to her in front of her group.

Jasmine: “you talk so much on FB, but in real life you are like no one. I am done with you , if you want to remain in touch  come and talk to me tomorrow, at the same spot in canteen or consider this our last chat!”

I: “I will not”

Jasmine: “you are moron,a loser…Get Lost…disappear disappear shhuuu shuu.”

I: “you cannot talk to me like this, it’s hurting.”

I: “you are not as beautiful as you think, you are egoist. I deserve apology from you, I told you that you were rude with me that night and I was hurt instead of being apologetic you are again bashing me for nothing.”

Jasmine: “you are very immature cry baby …fool don’t play victim card.”

I: “Bugger off…you filthy pig.”

After that I blocked her on messenger. Now I said things in flow of heat of argument but it left me worried as I have to go in same class next day. How long can I avoid her, she will definitely retaliate there, and she might even make fuss about it. And girl card will be played. Next day though I was nervous but nothing happened she didn’t confront me. Lunch came and passed nothing happened things were smooth. After the lunch we had to go to laboratory for practical class. We had to go to fourth floor for this class. In the stairs two of her friends came to me, they were also my friends kind of mutual, they tried to warn me, they said to me that I was very abusive towards her, how could I say such abusive words to a girl, I should have some respect for girls. I said, “she started first, she has been very rude to me all the time. On being insulted again and again I couldn’t keep myself from retaliating her in a manner which suited her.” They also told me that she is upset, and I should apologize to her. I said I won’t say sorry.

Later on time passed things went normal. I started missing her so I unblocked her on FB and tried to talk to her. But she still had same attitude, talking rudely to me. But this time I became very funny, I thought maybe cracking  jokes about her and her friends will make things better as earlier I have been very polite and sweet which didn’t work. So i talked with her in funny manner, cracking jokes about her friends. But now this time she blocked me leaving me confused.

With this wrangling talk college time got over. We got placed in different companies and in different cities. I was working as electrical engineer in Delhi. She was in Kanpur working as a software engineer.

One day I met the same mutual friends who once came to warn me about what I did to Jasmine. They told me about her present situation, now once again I was there same feelings captured my heart. I was eager to talk to her. I searched her on FB. And somehow found she hadn’t kept me blocked. So we began chatting, this time we were talking like very mature people. We talked about college days we laughed at our silly childish chats of college days. I asked her if we can meet. She told me address and the time. But I did not wait for the time given by her I went directly to her office in Kanpur to surprise her with bouquet of flowers. I asked to the receptionist about jasmine and requested her if I could meet her at her desk. She said to wait but I insisted, I want to surprise her, I lied that I am her fiancé. She fell for the trick and she walked with me and after reaching to inner compartment she directed me to her desk. It was huge area with many desks separated with wooden walls like a typical corporate office. Where everyone can watch each other. I reached her desk with bouquet of flowers. Before she could react, I wanted to fulfill her wish the challenge she gave me to meet her in front of others. This time I wanted to show her that I am not a loser she once thought not a shy coward boy who stalks her. But the person who loves her and could openly say so. I bent the knee and said”

Jasmine the peace of my life, breeze of dawn, my breath, my heartbeat, I was born to love you jasmine…. Jasmine I am your Aladdin…..now she was nervous shivering. I hold her hand in my hands and said calm down relax I am not proposing you. Can we go out for banana shake and burgers! And she looked around, everyone was surprised. Some guys were giggling too. So I stood up, and said guys relax just old pals! She smiled out of nervousness and wanted to leave the office as quickly she can so she said…

Ya let’s go !